Five Reasons "How I Met Your Mother" Sucks

When How I Met Your Mother (HIMYM) first came out, I was a pretty avid watcher. I can't say I watched it regularly as streaming wasn't much of a thing back then (at least when it started) and I didn't have cable. But I kept track of the DVD release dates for the seasons and was buying them the week they came out and binging them on the weekends. I think I quit around season seven though. The show just got too repetitive and Ted was really getting on my nerves. Honestly, I just started seeing holes in the plot all over the place and it finally got to the point those holes got too big to be ignored. (Plus, at the time, a couple friends compared me to Ted Mosby and that was kind of insulting). 

Anyways, as the government shutdown is still going on and I've actually been kind of bored playing video games, I've decided to re-watch HIMYM. I'm only at about to season six, so almost caught up with where I once was. And I can't help but think this show still sucks. Maybe even more so now than when I first watched it. But I'm not going to just say it sucks and leave it at that, I'm going to give the reasons.

SPOILER ALERT - If somehow you've never watched HIMYM but are really wanting to, there are some spoilers in these reasons, most notable reason one. 

5) The characters spend way too much time in a bar. Real adults with real lives cannot afford to spend that much time or money in a bar. Especially considering Marshall and Lily have money troubles in the first few episodes. Ted seems to be doing alright for himself, but not so alright that he can just pick up his friends' bar tabs night after night. Robin seems to have even less money. And guys like Barney aren't the kind of guys to pick up other peoples' tabs unless they're sure they're going to sleep with that person.

4) The characters have too much free time. Marshall and Ted both go through points where they talk about being overworked, yet they both make it to social outings most nights a week. Barney is supposedly some high level executive, yet he's got enough free time to somehow lead two full lives. Robin is the only one where it makes sense to me that she has that much free time, only her free time would be on the other side of the day since she's constantly working morning shows.

3) People like Barney don't mingle with people like the rest the characters. I get it that his character is supposed to serve as some sort of foil to Ted, but that could've been written much better. There are plenty of man-whores out there that aren't rich and I think the writers would've done better to go that route. Also, guys like Barney don't live by some sort of bro code. They may claim to, but we've all known a Barney or two in our lives and every one of them has claimed to follow bro code only to try and earn the trust of others around them. And then when given the chance, they break the code. Barney would have 100% tried to seduce Lily whenever Marshall wasn't around.

2) The show goes on way too long. They could've kept the show to four season, five at the most, and it would've been much better. But in typical corporate Hollywood fashion, they had to milk it for all the could get. Which leads to subpar writing, plot holes, and character inconsistencies, all of which become more apparent as the show goes on.

1) Victoria! I thought I'd be ready for it the second time around, but no. Ted screwed up the best thing to happen to him. I know there's a point where they bring Victoria back and make it seem like things might happen. In fact, I think that point is why I quit watching it the first time. I can't say for sure why the writers did what they did, but I always got the feeling they brought Victoria back to appease the fans and then essentially assassinated the essence of her character. It was sloppy and it was only done because they wanted to show fans how Victoria wasn't the one, but it only goes to show the sloppy writing I mention in reason 2 the show sucks. 

Don't get me wrong, I doubt writing for a show in Hollywood can be easy. Between studio executive demands and actors doing whatever weird shit actors are known to do, it's got to be quite the balancing act to please all those people and the fans at the same time. Nonetheless, sometimes you gotta let the story write itself and I don't think the writers even tried that here. They were dead set on Robin being the one from the get-go (yes, I already know how the show ends despite not having seen it) that they wouldn't budge on the issue. They probably introduced Victoria way too early to make her the one, but they didn't have to do her dirty like they did later on. Though really, Ted should've just moved with her to Germany (I'm sure he could've gotten an architecture job over there - his rival firm, Sven, is from Sweden) and they could've lived happily ever after. The show would've been one season and instead of a bunch of pissed off fans complaining about the ending, there'd be a weird cult following wondering how the show didn't go on for longer than it did.