Random Life Update

TL;DR: Nothing big going on. Still sober. Trying to get back into running. Hoping to try and get back in jiu-jitsu soon as well. I didn't really decorate for Halloween this year at home, but I did at work. And speaking of work, I'm currently in furlough status (i.e. not work or getting paid) while this government shutdown is going on. 

All considered, I'm kinda surprised I haven't been craving a drink lately. This is the time of year when barrel-aged stouts start hitting different (in a good way) and I always looked forward to it as a drinker. Not only did the stouts hit harder than most other beers, they helped me maintain the allusion to myself that I was more of a connoisseur than an alcoholic. The big bummer for me not drinking right now is with all this time off from work, I could be doing A LOT of connoisseur-ing without feeling bad about being the hungover piece of shit at work the next day. 

What's there to say about trying to get back into running, other than it being the weirdest thing to want to get back into? I don't really miss the act of running itself, but the feeling I get after running is hard to replicate any other way. Some people call it a "runner's high." I think of it more like a "after doing that to myself, none of the other annoying minutia of the day seems that bad" feeling. Plus I want to eat a lot of candy and other treats this holiday season and I need to be doing something to help fight the weight gain.

As for getting back into jiu-jitsu, it also has a "nothing after this seems that bad" feeling to it. But it also has a social component that's been severely lacking in my life as of late. And, I've spent plenty of money on it so far in life, so may as well try and get back at it yet again. 

I usually love decorating for the holidays, starting in October for Halloween. But this year I just wasn't feeling it. Probably because it was something I did with my ex and doing so alone just felt depressing. Of course, not doing it was also depressing. But when I had to choose between two depressing options, I chose the one that cost less. I'll probably do a little more decorating for Christmas, but still not as much as normal. And definitely not getting a tree this year. 

So the government shutdown... It sucks. I know it doesn't sound to most people like something I would say, but I miss work. I also miss a regular paycheck, but for now I've got enough in savings to hold me over for a little bit (if the shutdown goes into November that may change though). But going to work kinda forces me into a routine that I don't seem able to maintain when left to my own devices. These days I can't seem to fall asleep before 4 a.m. and then I end up sleeping til noon (or later) and I'm not getting nearly as much done with my time as I could be. 

Ideally, I would be using this time to write, or at least read more. Mostly I wake up later than I meant to and then end up doing little more than playing video games as I'm unable to find any focus on anything else. It's a frustration I never thought I'd have (I always thought I would love doing nothing) and I'm not sure how to deal with. And I know some people out there will be like, "just force yourself to do other stuff." I've tried. Nothing seems to be working. Who knew the monotony of regular employment would be the linchpin to be being even remotely productive in other areas of my life?

Anyways, I'm not going to get political about the shutdown (at least not yet); this is something out of my hands and getting myself worked up over will do no good. While I wouldn't place any actual money on how much longer it will last, I'd be very surprised if it was over by the end of next week. In the meantime, I'm going to do my best to make the most out of the time away from work. If nothing else, I will try and get more reading in. I might even try my hand at some baking during this time, even if only because watching GBBO makes me daydream what it would be like to be on the show and the only way that could ever happen is if I actually did some baking.