My Own Worst Enemy

Long before this relationship fell apart, long before it even began, and pretty much as far back in my life as I can remember, I've had a horrible habit of focusing on the negative. Often to the point of losing sight of anything positive. It's not limited to romantic relationships either - far from it actually. It's been with just about all relationships I've had. Also, work, hobbies, and even video games.

I know it's no way to live, but it's also about the only way I seem to know how to live these days. Obviously, it cost me a relationship and that will haunt me til the day I die. But looking back I can only wonder what else it's cost me in life or what enjoyment did I miss out on because I was so focused on what I didn't like that I missed out on what I would like.

I wish recognizing this issue was all it would take to suddenly be "cured" of it, but I get the feeling it's going to take a lot of focus and mindfulness to rewire my brain into something a little more positive. Assuming it's even possible; for all I know I've hardwired my brain into a permanent cynical asshole. But it's worth a shot, if for no other reason than the last thing I want is to be an old man angry at the world for no other reason than anger is all I know.