A Drunkard’s Diary (Part 2.5): Before I Go Any Further…

I’m not sure how long I’ll be doing this “Drunkard’s Diary” thing/series for, but I want to ensure anyone who reads it that this isn’t some weird cry for help. I’ve just been doing a good bit of thinking lately and the amount of drinking I’ve been doing over the years is something that definitely sticks out when looking back. When I compare where I am to where I wanted to be by this point in my life, I notice a common denominator in much of my wasted opportunity and that common denominator of course has been being drunk.

I’m sure if I went to a “professional,” they’d say I’m an alcoholic and recommend treatment. But by their guidelines, a whole lot of people I know (most of whom have their shit together much better than I) qualify as an alcoholic. However, I don’t feel like I’m quite at the alcoholic level (for reasons I’ll try to get into another post). Yet. Nonetheless, my drinking has been a problem and one I’ve been turning a blind eye to for all too long.

I should have my master’s degree by now, but I don’t even have my bachelor’s. I should’ve done a whole lot of more hiking than I have, especially when I consider how much talking about it I do. I should be a blue belt in Brazilian jiu jitsu (not that the belt should matter to me and I likely wouldn’t be a good blue belt anyways, but showing up matters and I’ve certainly spent more nights drunk than at jiu jitsu over the past few years). But instead of any of that, I decided it would be easier to just stay at home and drink. And that’s a whole lot of time I’ll never get back.

 I’m not going to lie, I love drinking. I especially love beer and living somewhere with a great micro-brew scene makes it all the better. But I’m tired of feeling like I’m watching my life pass me by. So I’m going to take a break from drinking for an undetermined (but longer than just a month like before) amount of time. And hopefully, when I decide to partake again, I’m much more mature and wise in how much and how often I consume. In the meantime, these blog entries are nothing more than me looking back and exploring the drunken time in my life leading up until now.