My Slutty Heart

A long, long time ago I was in "love" with a girl. She turned out to be a bitch. But even with me knowing that, it was hard to move on. In fact, it wasn't until I met another girl to fall in "love" (I use the quotation marks because I wasn't really in love with these girls at the time, but I didn't know that yet) with that I got over the first girl. The new "love" however wasn't a bitch that would spend one night kissing me and then the next night kissing some other guy while saying she was just out with friends. In fact, the new "love" wasn't one to kiss me. We fooled around a little when we first met, but it was short lived and before I know it, I was in the friend zone. And that's where I spent the next few years. I constantly tried to move on from that place, but it just wasn't happening. And while I started feeling some detachment after awhile, it wasn't until I went to basic training for the Air Force that I really got over her. Not only could I never see her while I was there, but I rarely had time to think about her. And when all was said and done, I realize that wasn't the worst thing to happen to me.
The first base the Air Force put me at was in South Carolina. I think every other week I met a new girl that I thought was "the most beautiful woman on earth". A pity for my friends as they always had to hear about these new girls and how I thought each new one was "the one". But no one of them stayed that beautiful for long until I met a new one and I never ended up seriously falling for any of them. And I think that's a good thing.
Then came England.
It was there I met the current girl that still occupies my mind.
For over four years now the same girl has monopolized most my thinking. She's turned me into a pathetic fool incapable of really hitting on other girls or even giving thought that another woman might be a better one for me to be infatuated with. And I'm tired of it. I would kill to be able to magically be able to forget about her, or in some way move on. Unfortunately, it's not so easy to move on as just telling yourself to do so.
So these days, I feel pretty stuck in a bind (it's not like I can just rejoin the Air Force). I wouldn't mind meeting a new girl to be infatuated with, but those girls seem few and far between. Especially in this town. And I definitely don't want to be stuck in the friend zone again. I'm tired of that place and I think I'd rather die than go back. So I'm beginning to think the only two options left are a hard hit to the head to give me amnesia, or join the Army and go through their basic. I'm not sure which would be worse. (There's also the option of hoping I win the lottery and then I can at least use prostitutes to take care of my physical needs, but let's face it, if all anyone needed was the physical side of romance, then prostitution would be the most glamorous profession on earth).