Addendum Continuation of a Reiteration
When I was in high school, I had this little not-so-scientific theory that God had a big red button with my name on it (I know I've written on this before a long time ago, but I think that blog is good and gone). And whenever He was having a bad day, He would press on the button and something would go bad/wrong in my life. I blamed that big red button for everything, from stubbing my toe to being rejected by a girl. If something in any way caused me pain or grief, it was caused by God pressing that big red button.
I know, it was a stupid theory that only an idiot in high school could come up with. I can't even say I believed it was true (can't say I didn't believe it was true either). But it did give me something to blame my misery on other than myself.
To a much lesser extent, I've been going back to that theory. Not that God really has a big red button. Just more or less, there's been this feeling that maybe God is just screwing with me. Or, and I'm not sure if this would be better or worse, He's just given up on me and left me to my own devices. And if it's the latter, I can't even say I blame Him.
I was hoping this weekend trip would help shed some light on the situation for me. It didn't. And I'm going to leave the talk about this at that.
That's not to say the trip did me no good; it was nice to get out of the city for a couple days and meet some new people. And it also made me think about a lot of things that I don't like about most churches I've gone to and most Christians I meet.
I'm not really going to go into it here, other than to say that I often feel a huge let down by many of these churches and, to a lesser extent, the people. That's not to say I don't realize we're all different people and many of us are likely to perceive things in different ways. So it's no surprise that there's varying interpretations of things written in the Bible. I don't even necessarily think that's bad, at least to an extent. But realizing this alone doesn't help me in getting over the words and actions of some churches and the people within them.
Anyways, it's a lot to ponder and write about. And right now, I'm too hungry to worry about either; it's time to go get some lunch.
I know, it was a stupid theory that only an idiot in high school could come up with. I can't even say I believed it was true (can't say I didn't believe it was true either). But it did give me something to blame my misery on other than myself.
To a much lesser extent, I've been going back to that theory. Not that God really has a big red button. Just more or less, there's been this feeling that maybe God is just screwing with me. Or, and I'm not sure if this would be better or worse, He's just given up on me and left me to my own devices. And if it's the latter, I can't even say I blame Him.
I was hoping this weekend trip would help shed some light on the situation for me. It didn't. And I'm going to leave the talk about this at that.
That's not to say the trip did me no good; it was nice to get out of the city for a couple days and meet some new people. And it also made me think about a lot of things that I don't like about most churches I've gone to and most Christians I meet.
I'm not really going to go into it here, other than to say that I often feel a huge let down by many of these churches and, to a lesser extent, the people. That's not to say I don't realize we're all different people and many of us are likely to perceive things in different ways. So it's no surprise that there's varying interpretations of things written in the Bible. I don't even necessarily think that's bad, at least to an extent. But realizing this alone doesn't help me in getting over the words and actions of some churches and the people within them.
Anyways, it's a lot to ponder and write about. And right now, I'm too hungry to worry about either; it's time to go get some lunch.
posted by Paul | 2:32 PM
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