I Hate How Much I Hate My Life
Years ago, like years and years ago (like almost 20 years ago), I was hanging out with a friend of mine and I said something like "You know what I hate?"
His answer - "Everything."
That answer still resonates with me.
I hate how negative I am about things. I want to be more positive. I'm trying to be more positive. But fuck is it hard.
I wish I was better at complimenting people. I wish I was able to tell my friends how much I love them without having to make a joke about it or play it off so it doesn't seem "gay." I wish I could just see all the beauty around me and nothing else; to enjoy the soup in front of me and not focus on fly in the room that hasn't even come near the bowl.
posted by Paul | 6:44 PM
2 Comments:
I've been there. I also used to "hate" everything. You've made the first step though. Realizing that you want to change that about yourself is important. I tell my friends I love them all the time. They didn't know what to do at first but now we all do it. You can be the one to start it. Good luck my friend.
Can I give my two cents…I take your silence as “can’t wait”. Okay here goes. Paul you also love soooo hard. I actually love this about you. You don’t dip a toe in, you Alaskan polar bear that Mother…all in. You have found beauty in people, places, and situations that most people would overlook. So your a love hate kinda guy. Hot or Cold, at least you know how you feel about things. I know several people who have no idea how they feel about anything. I find your opinions even when we are on complete opposite sides of an issue refreshing because you have a stance. I can leave thinking that’s dumb… but respect that you have an opinion.
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