Things I Don't Really Miss About Drinking

 Lately I find myself really missing beer. A lot. Like I’m not sure how much longer this “quitting” drinking thing can last. But I do know I need it to last at least as long as it takes for me to get to a doctor to get a liver function test done (I’m a bit paranoid of how much damage I may have done already). But if the news is really good or really bad, I don’t see any reason to worry about my liver, at least not in the present. However, I still haven’t made an appointment and so as far as I know, my liver is in the danger zone and I can’t risk making it worse. Which means missing beer is not at all a good thing.

So I’m trying to remind myself of the things I absolutely don’t miss about drinking.

Number one is hangovers. I mean, it’d be kinda weird if I did miss those, yes-no? No matter how tired (and sometimes sore) I wake up these days, I still always feel a thousand times better than whenever I’ve awoken hungover. I no longer spend the first half of my work day regretting drinking the night before and the second half of that day just watching the clock until I can get home and drink again. And that alone feels great. It also helps me a ton in being ready to work when I get to work (surprise, surprise), so I’m not feeling like a complete piece of shit just sitting there avoiding work.

Closely related to the hangover (and almost always a part of having a hangover) is "beer shits" and I’m so happy to not be dealing with that as well. I won’t go into a ton of discussion on it; if you’ve never dealt with beer shits in life then all the more power to you. But the fact that my stomach feels so much better than it did during my drinking days makes me wonder how I ever allowed that to be my norm in the first place. It’s also incredibly nice not having to worry about my proximity to a toilet for the first half (or more) of any given day.

And even if I’m not hungover or battling with my bowels, most days after drinking I felt sluggish, both mentally and physically, and I definitely don’t miss that. The inability to maintain focus on even simple tasks often had me falsely promising myself I was going to take it easy with the drinking for awhile (even though deep down I knew the reality was I’d most likely be pouring myself a drink as soon as I was able).

I also don’t miss being drunk. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a good buzz as much as most people – but being actually drunk was a crap shoot to how I was going to feel. For as often as I was in a “I love everyone” mood, there were plenty of nights where I hated myself/my life and lamented the fact I was ever born. As much fun as an “I love everyone” night can be, those nights really don’t make up for nights of alcohol induced grief where one isn’t thinking anything through rationally. And it certainly never made me more artistic, despite the fact I often imagined when I was feeling sad at least it was helping me get in touch with my creative side. I guess on the plus side I’ve never really been one for being an angry drunk (unless you count yelling at video games, but I’ve done that plenty of times sober too); who knows how miserable my life would be if that were the case?

So yeah, I miss beer. But I didn’t make the decision to stop drinking because I dislike beer – it was because all those things that I don’t miss were really messing with my life in a bad way.  

I know some people will recommend non-alcoholic beers to me and I’m sure you mean well, but when I say I miss beer, I mean real beer. Beers full of flavor, like stouts meant to be drank at room temperature and IPAs that can actually quench thirst on a warm day. Every NA beer I’ve ever tried was modeled after mass-produced beers that I never really enjoyed. And I’m not trying to be a snob about it, I fully feel people should drink what they enjoy regardless of what’s popular at the moment, but I’ve long since gotten myself to the point that it’s craft beer or no beer for me. And right now, sadly, it’s just no beer.