One Year Sober and I'm Still a POS

I didn't expect quitting drinking (for a year) to lead me to finding the love of my life or gaining super powers, though I certainly wouldn't have been disappointed for either to happen (especially the super powers). I did have an idea though, that if I were successful, I would've become a lot more productive. Most notably, I thought I would write a lot more. But I also thought I would've done more hiking, been more physically active, read more, and possibly try to learn guitar again. However, outside of being a little more consistent in going to jiu-jitsu (emphasis on little), I didn't do any of those things. I spent most my time sober as I did drunk, sitting around playing video games and watching TV. 

That being said, I'm not really bummed about it. If at the end of 2019 someone would've told me I still wouldn't accomplish shit in 2020 even being sober, I probably would've given up on the idea. But I'm glad I did it; for all I didn't accomplish, I at least feel like I learned a good bit about myself and I can be honest with myself about what I want in life and what it will take to get it (which is work, which is something I hate).

Another thing being sober has allowed me to reflect upon is how truly blessed my life is. For starters, my family has been there to help me out in rough times all too often, and a lot of people aren't so fortunate. On top of that, I have amazing friends. Like super amazing. Like I'm pretty sure all my friends are more amazing than your friends, even if you, the reader, are one of my friends: the rest of my friends that you don't know are more amazing than the friends of yours I don't know. And a lot of people aren't in such a lucky position. Finally, when I look back, I really feel there's been quite a few times God has been looking out for me. Now I'm not here to force God, or the idea of God, down anyone's throats. And I certainly won't criticize anyone for not believing in God, there are definitely some good reasons not to believe. But I do still believe and I 100% believe He's helped me out more times than I deserve. Why He would do that is anyone's guess. 

So anyways, as much as I love to complain about my life, it's really pretty good. So then why did I say I'm a piece of shit in the title of this thing? Because for having such a good (and simple) life, I hardly do a thing to give back. I don't think I'm necessarily a horrible person - I try to tip well when I go out, not litter, and put my cart back in the return bin after shopping - but I know there is so much more I could be doing. I'm able-bodied, I don't have kids, and my work schedule is relatively consistent; I could be doing a lot more with my life than sitting around playing video games. 

Which brings me to my New Year's Resolution for 2021: To do one volunteer event a month.* One thing a month is probably the bare minimum of what I could/should be doing to give back, but it's a starting point. Where and what I'll be volunteering to do is still up in the air (except for January), but I'm not too worried about that, just that I keep to it. And give back at least a little bit of time from a pretty blessed life that has wasted a ton of it.

*I also mean one event that is on my own time, not using work time. Because there's no shortage of people in the Air Force that use work time to go out and do volunteer activities. Which in the grand scheme of things is fine - chances are they'd just be twiddling their thumbs at work anyways so it's better they're out doing something to help the world be a better place. But those people posting their activities on social media like it makes them a saint when in reality they're doing it just to get out of work tends or irk me, enough so I had to write an afterthought about it.