Hate Fox News or CNN? Well then you're an idiot.

I was watching a program on Fox News the other day when the host said they had to stop in the middle of a conversation so they could go to commercials. And for whatever reason, that made me think of all the people I've known that said have Fox News was a puppet of the Devil or something like that. And I couldn't think but how dumb an idea that is. Fox News is nothing more than a capitalist brain child of someone that saw a market available. Instead of a news channel slanted towards liberal views or unbiased views (if such a thing were ever possible), a news channel was created with a conservative slant. And now that news channel is making money, which identifies the fact that some people obviously thought there was a need for such a news source. Which means this news channel is working as intended for its creator - it's making money. The same way MSNBC and CNN are (or should be) making money for their owners/creators.
If the heads of any of these sources was as concerned with the news (or even the truth) as they say, commercials would be less frequent, particularly during shows with guests on them. But time and again, you hear the phrase "we're gonna have to break here for a word from our sponsors" or something like that. If the message were that important, then sponsors would be fighting for air time as opposed to being guaranteed it.
To be honest, about 70% of my news intake is from Fox News. Mainly because I like the personalities that deliver the news there more than any others. However, I make sure to check other sources, especially for stories that seem suspect (easily slanted) to me. Anyone that only goes with one news source is ignorant, plain and simple.
Further proof, for me at least, of the capitalist agenda behind them ALL for me...
I went to the websites for the big three (as I see them), CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News. At each site I viewed three video news casts (of the first video news casts I could click on). Really, all I was checking for was sponsor info, not the actual news story (maybe another time I'll check on that, but I doubt I'm going to change anyone's mind about how they view any news station reports, by saying what I saw). Here's what I got:
CNN (www.cnn.com): Three video links clicked and three commercials, each commercial thirty seconds long.
MSNBC (www.msnbc.msn.com): Three video links clicked and one commercial, which went for fifteen seconds.
Fox News (ww.foxnews.com): Three video links clicked and three commercials, each commercial fifteen seconds long.
(To clarify, that means Fox and CNN had a commercial before each video news cast while MSNBC seemingly just had one show up out of three, and could be even less as I didn't spend time searching more.)
According to my very unscientific data, all of them are in it for the money (why have sponsors for internet broadcasts otherwise?), but MSNBC seems to be the least concerned with INTERNET revenue (I emphasize "internet" as I don't know their entire business model).
In my view, news channels are in it for the money more than anything else. Not to say they're not also trying to influence their viewers with their political agenda (and really, who wouldn't in that position), but any smart businessman knows agenda takes second place to profit.
Anyways, if you don't get what I'm saying by now, then you never will.

My Slutty Heart

A long, long time ago I was in "love" with a girl. She turned out to be a bitch. But even with me knowing that, it was hard to move on. In fact, it wasn't until I met another girl to fall in "love" (I use the quotation marks because I wasn't really in love with these girls at the time, but I didn't know that yet) with that I got over the first girl. The new "love" however wasn't a bitch that would spend one night kissing me and then the next night kissing some other guy while saying she was just out with friends. In fact, the new "love" wasn't one to kiss me. We fooled around a little when we first met, but it was short lived and before I know it, I was in the friend zone. And that's where I spent the next few years. I constantly tried to move on from that place, but it just wasn't happening. And while I started feeling some detachment after awhile, it wasn't until I went to basic training for the Air Force that I really got over her. Not only could I never see her while I was there, but I rarely had time to think about her. And when all was said and done, I realize that wasn't the worst thing to happen to me.
The first base the Air Force put me at was in South Carolina. I think every other week I met a new girl that I thought was "the most beautiful woman on earth". A pity for my friends as they always had to hear about these new girls and how I thought each new one was "the one". But no one of them stayed that beautiful for long until I met a new one and I never ended up seriously falling for any of them. And I think that's a good thing.
Then came England.
It was there I met the current girl that still occupies my mind.
For over four years now the same girl has monopolized most my thinking. She's turned me into a pathetic fool incapable of really hitting on other girls or even giving thought that another woman might be a better one for me to be infatuated with. And I'm tired of it. I would kill to be able to magically be able to forget about her, or in some way move on. Unfortunately, it's not so easy to move on as just telling yourself to do so.
So these days, I feel pretty stuck in a bind (it's not like I can just rejoin the Air Force). I wouldn't mind meeting a new girl to be infatuated with, but those girls seem few and far between. Especially in this town. And I definitely don't want to be stuck in the friend zone again. I'm tired of that place and I think I'd rather die than go back. So I'm beginning to think the only two options left are a hard hit to the head to give me amnesia, or join the Army and go through their basic. I'm not sure which would be worse. (There's also the option of hoping I win the lottery and then I can at least use prostitutes to take care of my physical needs, but let's face it, if all anyone needed was the physical side of romance, then prostitution would be the most glamorous profession on earth).

Me vs. The Bible (or should it be The Bible vs. Me?)

Until a few hours ago, I was tired and nearly ready for bed. But then, as it often goes, something(s) happened that caused a tornado to go through my mind and mix things up and leave me wondering what the hell is going on. Since this is not an uncommon thing to happen to me, the details are irrelevant (as they're so often changing). What matters is that I lay staring at the ceiling when I really need to be sleeping. On most weekend nights, I'd probably just revert to drinking to get myself to sleep. However, I have drill this weekend, so drinking isn't really a smart idea.
So anyways, as I've been stuck thinking, I've been thinking about things my friends said they do when they have troubling thoughts.
One thing I've noticed about my friends is that often the ones that seem the most calm about life and able to deal with stress are Christians. Please notice the qualifier, "often". And I think of what many of them said they do in times of stress. And a common denominator among most Christians I've noticed is that when they're feeling stressed or what-not, they often read their Bible. And this brings me to wondering just how horrible of a Christian I am.
For one, I'm not good at dealing with stress at all. I also spend about 90% of my waking moments stressing about one thing or ten. And the only reason I'll ever seem calm is because I'm either faking it, or I've yet to figure out a good way to freak out about things. But this is such a small part of the reason I call myself a bad Christian.
When many of the afore mentioned friends talk about reading the Bible in times of stress, it often ends with them finding answers in how to deal with their problems. And even if they don't find answers, they're able to find peace. But I don't find any of that. I find ways in which I've failed God. I see the ways in which I will always fail God, which make me not want to even try. And then when I realize I'm giving up so easily, I feel even worse for it. And then even more like giving up. (You can see it's a vicious cycle going on here).
It's not like I think I'm reading a different Bible than my friends are (even if they're different translations, they have the same message). But where they see hope and grace, I see despair and mistakes. And the fact that I can't see what so many others see - what even I think I should be seeing - makes me wonder what's wrong with me. Or (if we take Bible reading to be a relative experience) maybe I'm seeing exactly what I'm supposed to see, which to be honest is a bit scarier an idea for me than there just being something wrong with me.
I could go further into this (and maybe I should sometime, though not so publicly), but I don't think the details are really important at the moment.

Addictions Without Twelve Step Programs

So I'm having one of those nights where I feel I really need to find some new music for my life (also known as the night of payday). And being I'm a modern gentlemen (meaning I like to be able to shop while wearing my pajamas), I try use iTunes to purchase my music whenever possible these days. Usually on these nights, I lookup bands I've heard of from friends, but have yet to actually hear their music. But tonight I couldn't recall hearing of any new bands lately that I hadn't already heard. So I decided to input in the little search box the names and bands I already know I like and the albums of theirs I like the most and then from there, I would try and find new music by listening to the music that iTunes said "Listeners also bought..." (meaning people who bought the album I looked up also bought music from these other artists and albums). The problem I've been running into tonight is that 90% of those artists and albums listed in that section I ALREADY OWN. And so far, I've already heard the 10% I don't own and they just happen to be bands I don't like.
At what point is someone's constant need to find new music considered an addiction? Because I'm beginning to think I'm there (which I can't say I mind).