I Hate John Mayer

Seriously, his "music" makes me physically ill. Whenever I hear it, I contemplate driving dull, rusty butter knives into my ear drums. His voice is what I imagine the cries of kittens being placed into a blender sounds like. If I had to choose between listening to John Mayer's "songs" or the sounds of monkeys having a farting contest, I'd choose the latter. That being said...
Mr. Mayer once did a song about father and daughters (and to a lesser extent, mothers). I know the song is a few years old, but I've spent those years trying to ignore the fact I agree with the lyrics in a John Mayer song. To summarize it, for those that have somehow had the luck to not hear it, the song pretty much says fathers need to be good to their daughters as that's where their daughters will learn about love. This is actually something modern psychology (for the little I know about it) has been saying for years. And I'll be damned if Mayer isn't on to something.
If I had a dollar for every girl I knew with a daddy issue, I'd be rich. And 90% of those girls are dating, in love with, or married to an absolute douche bag. And of course the girl thinks he's the greatest man in the world and no one knows him the way she does, but everyone on the outside knows he's a worthless piece of shit. He's the kind of guy that spends most the time acting unaware of her existence and then when he does acknowledge she's there, it's usually to criticize her. And yet she will swear on a Bible he's the greatest guy on earth and what they have is true love.
For the longest time, this perplexed me. The whole way so many girls could be in love with such douche bags. I mean, I know nearly every girl has he "bad boy" phase. But that's usually something that happens in high school/college. But as I get older, I'm noticing a lot of women that just don't get past it. No matter what, they're addicted to worst of guys. And now I realize John Mayer was on to something.
Do some girls with shitty dads find great guys and realize what they have? Yes. Do some girls have great dads and still manage to fall for guys not worth the dirt they walk on? Indeed. But those are exceptions to rule. Most girls with daddy issues (and that's most girls I've known or even known of) go for guys I wouldn't piss on if they were on fire.
Chances are, I'm going to die alone (in the romantic sense). While I can be a jerk (or so I've been told), I'm not the kind of jerk to play head games. Nor am I the kind of guy to try and be the new "daddy" for a girl with daddy issues. And the older I get, the less fish in the sea there are (especially fish without issues). So it goes.
But should I ever someday be the father of a daughter, may the good Lord strike me down if I don't do all I can to do the best job possible. Then the next time I hear some no-talent-ass-clown singing about fathers and daughters on the radio, I'll know it's a song that could in no way apply to my life and I'll change the station to one that plays real music (and if you're wondering, the reason the song would apply to me now is my uncanny ability to meet girls with horrible/nonexistent dads and then get stuck just being friends with them while they date complete douche bags).

Today I Reenlisted

So I joined the Air Force Reserves. And due to my current situation of having just left active duty, instead of enlisting in the reserves, I had to reenlist. So once again, I'm a US government too, but this time for one weekend a month and two weeks a year (the two week thing is kind of misleading, but I'll get to that later).
There's benefits and drawbacks to this decision, but after a lot of thought, I decided the benefits far outweigh the drawbacks. So now for the next six years (and maybe more), I'm once again working for Uncle Sam (though this time in a much more limited capacity). And oddly enough, I don't feel like I made a bad decision.
Anyways, I just wanted to get this news out.

Addendum Continuation of a Reiteration

When I was in high school, I had this little not-so-scientific theory that God had a big red button with my name on it (I know I've written on this before a long time ago, but I think that blog is good and gone). And whenever He was having a bad day, He would press on the button and something would go bad/wrong in my life. I blamed that big red button for everything, from stubbing my toe to being rejected by a girl. If something in any way caused me pain or grief, it was caused by God pressing that big red button.
I know, it was a stupid theory that only an idiot in high school could come up with. I can't even say I believed it was true (can't say I didn't believe it was true either). But it did give me something to blame my misery on other than myself.
To a much lesser extent, I've been going back to that theory. Not that God really has a big red button. Just more or less, there's been this feeling that maybe God is just screwing with me. Or, and I'm not sure if this would be better or worse, He's just given up on me and left me to my own devices. And if it's the latter, I can't even say I blame Him.
I was hoping this weekend trip would help shed some light on the situation for me. It didn't. And I'm going to leave the talk about this at that.
That's not to say the trip did me no good; it was nice to get out of the city for a couple days and meet some new people. And it also made me think about a lot of things that I don't like about most churches I've gone to and most Christians I meet.
I'm not really going to go into it here, other than to say that I often feel a huge let down by many of these churches and, to a lesser extent, the people. That's not to say I don't realize we're all different people and many of us are likely to perceive things in different ways. So it's no surprise that there's varying interpretations of things written in the Bible. I don't even necessarily think that's bad, at least to an extent. But realizing this alone doesn't help me in getting over the words and actions of some churches and the people within them.
Anyways, it's a lot to ponder and write about. And right now, I'm too hungry to worry about either; it's time to go get some lunch.

Another One of Them God Blogs

It's hard to know what to write without writing too much. I'm a couple hours from having to wake up (yeah, that's gonna suck) for a fishing trip being hosted by a church's mens group. I know I need a break doing something like fishing and that's why I said I'd go. But I don't really want to be surrounded by a bunch of guys from a church group.
There's two big reasons for this, but I'm only going to talk about one here.
I just don't want to be around a bunch of people talking about God. Whether it's good or bad talk, I don't want to hear it. I feel like ever since I left South Carolina, my relationship with God has been growing further and further apart. Sure, at times it seemed like things were turning back around for the better, but they were never that long and then the coarse of things falling apart resumed. And since I've come home, the rate of separation has been increasing.
No, I don't feel like I'm beginning to question the existence of God. If only that were the case (I think it would be much easier to deal with).
At the moment, I can't even define what all it is that's causing this. Occasionally I take some time to think about it, but not much since it's not something I really want to think about. I know there's definitely some anger and frustration issues towards God on my part (I'm not going to go further into it here). And there's definitely a lot of doubt too (again, I'm not going into it). I've also discovered I don't like the idea that God may be such a merciful God. Some days I don't want grace; I want to be smacked up side the head, told what an idiot I am, and sent on my way. I've also got a lot of pride, and I've had to swallow it on a lot of occasions when dealing with people. So when it comes to dealing with God, I feel like I should hold on to it all I can. And then of course, a relationship with God can be a lot of work, and I'm lazy.
There's plenty more to be sure, but that seems like enough for the time being. The point is, I kind of wish I didn't sign up for this trip. Part of me is hopeful that maybe something amazing will happen on the trip, but a lot of other parts of me are thinking I'm about to spend the next two days of my life rather miserable.