Rooms don't rearrange themselves

 One of those nights my brain feels like it's going 1000 mph, but the thoughts aren't going anywhere. I'm pacing the house looking at the things that need to be done, but unable to find where to begin. Also, it's past 10 p.m., so I'm pretty sure doing anything will annoy the neighbors. Not sure why I even care about that, I'm not particularly fond of the neighbors. But I like their cats.

I haven't done anything in over a month for my supposed future home office. Partly because I need help getting the book shelves downstairs. And partly because I don't see myself ever using it when/if it gets finished. It'll be all the way downstairs. I know me, I'm not going to walk down the stairs to do any work that can just as easily be done on my dining table. The reality is, or at least what I think in retrospect the reality is, that I started turning an old bedroom into a home office because it wasn't getting used as a gaming room and some girl I had a crush on suggested making it an office instead. 

At least as a gaming room it was a room that looked like it had a purpose. And who knows, maybe someday I'll have a friend group for inviting over for gaming...

But also, how sad is it that I still let crushes influence my decisions? I was thinking about it the other day and it feels like I should be too old for that shit, yet somehow I still let the thoughts and opinions of women I'm attracted to mean more than they should. It's weird because I know the majority of women I'll have a crush on, based on past experience, I'll only have a crush on for a short time. Yet somehow in that short time I let my interactions with them determine how I feel about my day/week/life. And even though I can recognize that's what I'm doing and that it's stupid, I can't seem to stop myself. 

Somehow my treadmill that's nearly ten years old still works, but once that thing dies, I'll have to find what to do with that room too. Not that I wouldn't want to get a new treadmill, but I think I can make room in the garage for that. I obviously won't need to worry about keeping two cars at a time in there any time soon.  

Song of the Day