Beards for all! Man, woman, and child too!

A coworker asked me tonight if I could make any one change across the military, what would it be. My answer, at first, as allowing beards for all men. But I realized that really isn't far enough. The dress and appearance standards used by the modern US military are antiquated and quite honestly, just embarrassing on the world stage. 

I would make a complete overhaul of the current dress and appearance styles. No more regulating hair length for men or women. Or hair color. Same for nail polish. And while I wouldn't go so far as to allow unlimited piercings, but I'd certainly allow more than what there currently is, for both sexes.

I think pretty much, I'd keep the current regulations for how the uniform must be worn, but beyond that, it would become much more relaxed.

Why? Because anyone willing to serve a nation that claims to be the world's beacon of freedom should be given a bit more of that freedom. So much as your hair, piercings, etc aren't causing a safety issue at work and you're not getting offensive words/symbols tattooed on your face, than who cares what you're choosing to do with your body? 

I know it's not so simple as just saying this is the way it should be and then it happens (despite what some "leaders" seem to think), but I know it can be worked out. I know this because NEARLY EVERY OTHER MILITARY IN THE WORLD IS ALREADY MAKING IT HAPPEN! It's absolutely mind boggling to me that our military leaders refuse to get on board with something most the military wants or is apathetic about and those against it have had their arguments disproven or just dismissed for being nonsensical. 

I used to believe there was a decent chance I'd see beards allowed in the military, but that was before Trump 2.0; instead we've gone backwards. But even when I'm out of the military, I will fight for our service members to be able to have more personal expression in their appearance. I think for most of them, they'd actually be better soldiers/sailors/airmen/marines if they could present themselves in a way that they felt better represents them. I know I would.  

Song of the Day 

Should've called in sick

Today was a training day at work. Which for me and my office, meant we didn't have much of anything to do. Normally, when I know there's a training day coming up, I call in sick. But because I'm feeling especially masochistic lately, I decided to go in to work. 

It was so slow we watched a movie. Not Another Teen Movie to be exact. And I gotta say, that movie holds up, at least for a xennial like me. 

Anyways, Monday through Thursday, there's an evening meeting I'm usually expected to go to. And any time I call in sick and say someone else has to cover for me, I get a bunch of shit about it from my active duty counterparts. Which, to a degree, I get - someone not expecting to stay late suddenly has to stay a little late. But also, to be fair, they're all SNCOs and can easily take the time off somewhere else. Still, I hate hearing the whining, even when it's in jest (because most jest has some truth to it), so even though I really didn't want to be at work today, I went in.

And because of the training day, the evening meeting was cancelled. 

Funny enough, I had a feeling that would happen. I should've trusted my instinct, but I feel like when I often do that, things turn out the opposite for me. 

I'm just so tired of work these days and even though I just had two weeks off not that long ago, a spontaneous day off really could've helped my mood. I could've gotten a god amount of school reading done in the comfort of my home and then played some video games. Or, I could've just spent the whole time playing video games! 

Regardless, the point is that earlier today I had an opportunity to give myself some dedicated me-time. And I blew it. On the plus side, I already put in for Friday off, but that's for social me-time and while I look forward to it, before too long I'm gonna need to find me a work day to play hooky and enjoy doing whatever the hell I want. (And let's be honest, there's a certain element of playing hooky that makes that alone time better than other planned alone time). 

 Song of the Day

Less bah humbug, more just blah

 (Update/correction for my 5k yesterday: official times came out today and I ran it in 30:55, so a little quicker than I thought. I would still like to get it below 30 minutes, and now I'm already closer to doing so!)

Last year, I didn't do any real decorating at home for any holidays. And I'm on the fence about decorating for Halloween this year (and will probably feel the same about Christmas). I used to love decorating for the holiday season. Not only did it give the house a different look and feel for a few months, it helped to stave off the dreariness of Alaskan winter. But decorating when you live alone and don't plan to have anyone over is kind of like putting on a fancy outfit to go to dinner alone. At a chain restaurant. 

I'm also not sure I'm going to decorate the office at work, which was something I even did last year (and have done every year I've worked in my current shop). This isn't so much about not feeling the spirit, but that a lot of my coworkers just suck now. They're completely disrespectful of other people's property and unappreciative of other people's work. Like I'm not expecting a bunch of kudos for putting up decorations, but it'd be nice if when people knocked things over they picked them up and put them back how they were. Or if they break something, they let you know and offer to replace it or in some way try to make it right. None of that happened last year. 

I'll still put up some lights; pretty much have to with how dark it gets at my house. But other than that, barring some huge change in life, I think it's going to be another season where the only reason I know it's the holiday season is because my heating bill gets ridiculously high and my electric bill isn't far behind. (Though I do hope to do better when it comes to sending out cards this year). 

Song of the Day 

I need new knees. Maybe new lungs too.

 

For the first time in (roughly) a year and a half, I ran an official 5k. (Official meaning it was an event with sponsors and time keepers and all that good stuff). My time was 31:05, which was a little slower than I thought I'd do, but at least gives me a solid personal goal to beat next time. I thought for sure I'd come in under 30 minutes just due to training at home at a nine minute mile on a treadmill with a slight incline. But I think a few factors played into my slower than expected performance. 

First off, outside running is a lot different. I was not prepared for the chill, nor did I bring headphones for music and that threw me off (as I always have music going at home). I also woke up a little earlier than I needed to so I could have some breakfast and not run on an empty stomach. But when I run at home, I always do it first thing, before breakfast. Like maybe I'll have an apple, but that's it. Today I had cereal and coffee and I think that threw my system for a loop. And the biggest factor, I think, was a hill about 2/3rds the way into the run. I wasn't prepared for any sort of real incline and once I slowed down for going uphill, it was almost impossible for me to get my pace back up when going downhill. But oh well, now I know.

Anyways, what I'm more proud of myself for today is even going at all. When my alarm went off today, my brain started making a lot of reasons not to go. "You already paid your fee, they got their money," my brain said in a voice that sounded suspiciously like mine, "just stay home and jog on the treadmill. Avoid the crowds and be comfortable." It turns out, sometimes I have a little social anxiety, especially when going to events where I'm not sure I'll know anyone at all. And this time, that anxiety was really kicking in. In a way it hasn't done in a long time. It got to a point I told myself that I had to go just in spite of the anxiety. Somehow that worked. 

So yay me, I did the thing I told myself I was going to do a long time ago. Took me longer than I intended to get there, but that just seems to be a theme for my life.  

Now I have to figure out do I really want to chance doing any of the winter runs that happen in this city (where it's not unheard of for temps to be in the single digits on race day) or just wait til next spring for another outdoor "official" run. Guess we'll find out...

Song of the Day 

Matter of fact, I do think I could do better

My biggest complaint/criticism of Magic: The Gathering (not to be confused with my criticisms of the makers of the game, Wizards of the Coast/Hasbro) is its story. It is easily one of the worst fantasy storylines ever written and the fact it continues to be so is literary tragedy. Even more tragic to me though is the number of fans of the game that are fans of the story. Like generally, I try not to yuck in anyone's yum these days, but when someone says they're a fan of the story, I automatically assume less of them. I don't mean less like they're less of a human being, but definitely that they're critical thinking skills aren't on par with more developed adults. 

This was brought to the forefront of my mind tonight while listening to a Magic podcast where the story was brought up. And one of the presenters talked about how much he enjoyed the developments in the story coming with the next set. Fortunately this was a presenter I already didn't have much respect for, so I didn't have to feel any sort of letdown. But it made me think about the fact that there are lots of people out there that follow the story and seem to think it's good. And that just makes me sad.

I do try to give some leeway to the various writers for the story (of which there are many) as when the game came out, it didn't really have a story. There were some characters on the cards and little flavor text references to something resembling a story, but nothing really official. It wouldn't be until a few years later that the game's makers decided it needed a more fleshed out story with reoccurring characters. A decisions I would have agreed with had I still been actively playing at the time; the world that was created was teeming with story possibilities. And, for all I know, when the story first came out it was alright (I haven't gone back to see how things were in the beginning). I will say what I have read in the past few years, some of the writers do well with what they're given and other writers make me envious of all those people I know that can read, but choose not to. 

But no matter how well a story is written, if it's a bad story it's still going to be a bad story. 

It probably shouldn't bother me as much as it does. The game itself is still fun (most the time) and there's engaging with the story does nothing to help one's gameplay abilities. I think I'm more annoyed by the fact there are people that treat the story as though it's on par with actual good fantasy. I'm not saying it's a crime to enjoy it - even I'd say it has some good moments - just that it's cringe to see/hear people treat it as actual literature. 

Oh well, I guess it could be worse. I need to lay down and question myself on the decision commit to plans on a weekend day when I know tomorrow I'm just going to want to stay in bed.

Song of the Day 

I collect tools and they collect dust

 Was talking with a guy at work today about weekend plans and he said he's going to spend the weekend taking a chunk of his downstairs ceiling out to make sure there isn't a leak effecting his upstairs sub-floor and if he has the time he's going to start working on some huge product in his garage. That's going to take up his whole weekend and he's perfectly happy with it. And I'm kinda envious.

I don't think I can get more than two hours into a home improvement project before I'm bored with it and ready to do just about anything else. And that sucks because my house needs a lot of work. Not just before I (hopefully) sell it one day, but a lot of work just to make living in it more comfortable. 

I know there's a lot I can't do on my own, like install a wood stove insert into the fireplace. And a lot of people I know with better handyman skills than me recommend leaving carpet installation to professionals. But I feel like there's still a lot I could figure out if I put my mind to it. Like putting in vinyl or laminate flooring. Or putting in a new bedroom door (including swapping the frame). But the thought of that being how I spend my whole day is absolutely dreadful. 

I like to imagine one day I'll have enough money to just pay someone to do it all for me. But at the rate I'm going, I'll be lucky if I have the money to pay professionals to do the work I can in no way do on my own, so I definitely don't want to count on being able to pay to have someone do the work I could possibly do.

I also like to think I'm getting ahead of myself by thinking about home improvement projects right now. But some of those are closer to being home repair projects and are probably going to need to be dealt with sooner than I'd like. 

Song of the Day 

Prioroties

 No real time to write tonight as I decided to knock out some homework. Even crazier is I wrote out way more for the homework than I intended; hopefully it makes sense to the professor. 

Also, despite a huge desire to sleep in this morning, I got up and jogged a practice 5k on my treadmill. And my shin splints seem to be gone, so thank God for that; I really didn't want to go do an actual 5k while my shins felt like they were on fire. 

Song of the Day 

Anywhere but a Carnival cruise

 There are two realistic scenarios in which I see myself ever drinking again. 

1) I give up on the idea of having a better life for myself, assuming that which I truly want out of life will never happen anyways, and just say "fuck it" and start the slow (but quicker than one often thinks) process of drinking myself to death. I'm sure I'd have moments during that time in which I think maybe this isn't such a good idea and I take a break and try to pull myself back together, but I'm also pretty sure that once I've given up, I'm committing to it. 

2) I'm on vacation or out of state for work and I decide to just let loose. I'll tell myself I can have fun while I'm away from home and once I get back home I'll get sober again. After all, I've already proven I can stop without much issue. It won't work of course and eventually I'll find myself struggling to do much of anything besides drink. 

I think scenario 1 is more likely than 2, but I can definitely see 2 happening if I'm not careful.  

This isn't to imply I'm thinking of starting drinking again. I still remember all too well the many mornings hungover feeling like I might just be clinically dead and the later in the day bathroom emergencies. And I don't care won't deal with either of those.

But I do still think about drinking quite a bit and I'm still a bit on guard for what might take me back to it.

Song of the Day