Two Years Sober - A Review

If I have one drink, I'll have two. And if I have two drinks, I'll have ten. And after that, I'm drinking until I don't know how to stop anymore. 

Maybe it doesn't happen all at once. Maybe I can limit myself to just one drink at a time, during social outings with friends. Maybe after awhile I allow myself two. And maybe even I can keep myself to that limit.

But I know deep down, it's only a matter of time. It's just a bad day away when I think "what does it even matter?" and I let myself escape to that numb feeling only alcohol seemed to bring me. I promise myself it'll just be that one night and then I'll get back on track. 

Or maybe it's a really good day and I feel I deserve the right to celebrate in excess. After all, I've proven I have control again. It's time to let loose and tomorrow I'll get back to moderation.

But it'll never work like that. One bad day snowballs into lots of bad days and lots of reasons to want to feel numb. Funny enough, one drunken celebration of a good day also snow balls into lots of bad days. Lots of chasing that happy feeling while it gets further and further away.

And then before long, all semblance of control is long gone and I'm stuck wondering how I let it get so bad. Wondering if I'll ever be able to get sober again.

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Year two certainly had it's challenges, but staying sober was rarely ever one of them. And I think that's due to me always keeping the above in mind. I've heard a lot of people say year two was harder than year one because they thought they had control (since they already did a whole year without alcohol) and decided to try having "just one" again. And for most of them, it didn't take long til they were back where they started. So I guess, in a sense, I'm lucky that I still in no way think I can have control. 

That said, I did not get back to being as physically active as I'd been hoping to for year two. I wasn't a complete couch potato, but due to some personal stuff that happened throughout the year as well as me just generally loving sitting on my couch (or laying in bed), I didn't get out as much as I'd like. 

Does that mean I hope to try and change that in year three? Yes, yes it does.

More importantly for this next year though (or at least I think it's more important - some days it's hard to tell what I should be prioritizing, but that's something to talk about another time) is getting serious about planning for the next stage of my life. I'm not even sure what that means, but I've been spending the last few months thinking a lot about where I am vs. where I want to be (and where I believe God is telling me I should be going) and the two(/three) places are definitely not the same. 

Five Reasons "How I Met Your Mother" Doesn't Suck

I know I have a tendency to focus on the negative. And a tendency to point out the negative I see to anyone not even trying to listen. But I swear I'm not all doom and gloom. For all the shit I can (and will) talk about How I Met Your Mother, I still think it's a decent show. I wouldn't be going through the re-watch otherwise - there's too many other good shows out there I could be watching if I didn't really like this one. (Though if I were to be honest, I'd probably just be watching The Office again). Anyways, here's five things that make HIMYM worth the watch.

(Also, I'd like to say, if you've watched the whole series and know how it ends, but you've never re-watched it and have no desire to ever do so, I suggest just going back and watching season 8 episode 20 again. But, ummm... you may want to have some tissues nearby. In case someone nearby is cutting onions or something). 

5) The show has some pretty clever writing. Granted, it's not always consistent writing. But it's still quite clever much of the time. The one-liners are often good, which makes for a good sitcom. But more importantly, the writers make great use of foreshadowing in a way that I think just might be peak for a sitcom. Even in the later seasons.

4) I went to NYC once and the trip was absolutely horrible. Yet I still love the city. And because HIMYM is set in NYC, it automatically gets kudos for that. I know it can be argued that most the show was actually filmed in LA, but they do a good job of making it feel NYC and for that, I love it.

3) Some of the greatest music to be features in a television show has been featured in HIMYM. In fact, I'd say it rivals Grey's Anatomy for best music featured in its show (assuming the listener is really into indie music along with the occasional pop song). And unlike Grey's Anatomy, watching HIMYM doesn't make me want to gouge my eyes out with a rusty spoon.

2) I think sitcoms that are set in the same time period they're filmed in serve as a sort of time capsule (and I hope to someday write a whole blog about this particular thought of mine). And HIMYM perfectly captures the mid-200s - mid-2010s (at least for middle class white Americans in their early adulthood years). And I absolutely love that about this show. Though watching the characters go from regular cell phones to smart phones does make me wish smart phones never became a thing. Which is something they actually cover in an episode.

1) Lastly, while I realize Ted Mosby is a fictional character and life is nothing like a sitcom, Ted's seemingly unending sense of hope often gives me a hope. Ignoring the fact that Ted is an idiot for not staying with Victoria in season 1, the dude goes through a lot of heartbreak. But he always gets back out there. Sure, some times it takes a little longer than others to dust himself off and pick himself up, but even when all the signs tell him it's time to call the quits - even when he thinks to himself that indeed it's time to call the quits - he finds a little hope and let's that guide him. And sometimes, when you're struggling to find such hope yourself, it's helpful to see someone else do it.