I'll Probably Have to Self-Quarantine in 2021
I'm officially one-third of the way through Sober 2020. Of course, that's assuming I make it all the way; it certainly has gotten harder. I expected things to get a little more difficult once I passed my PT test - I was not however very well prepared for this coronavirus world we're currently living in. One of my favorite things to do in the past was sit at home alone and drink while playing video games and that was before it was a lifestyle being forced on me. Still, I've got some things helping me to abstain (at least for now).
First, but probably also least, is my bank account. As I've mentioned before, it's not really growing while I'm staying sober. However, my debt has been going down and I do enjoy seeing that happen (though by current calculations, I'm gonna need Sober 2020 - Sober 2120 before I get rid of it all).
School has also been a big factor though. Or, to be honest, a fear of drinking myself retarded (more so than I often already feel I am). I used to be one of those annoying people that could read a text once and remember nearly all of, or at least enough of it to get an A or a B on any test covering it. These days I often have to reread something two or three times before I retain enough information to pass any test or am able to write a decent paper on it. I know some of that has to do with age, but I also have no doubt that heavy drinking killed quite a few more brain cells than I'm comfortable with thinking about. And while I know I'll never be able to get to the point I was once out with memory and knowledge retention, I like to think that with sobriety now (and moderation later), I can get closer to that point than the one I feel I'm at now.
The next big factor is how much I'm still enjoying not being hungover. I probably still sleep more than is needed (because sober sleep feels SOOOO good), but when I'm finally out of bed I am able to get to my day without fear of being sick or wishing the sun had a dimming switch. And while every year I'm excited for summer and the idea of getting in a good bit of hiking, being sober I feel like there's a decent chance that might actually happen for me this year.
The final thing, and definitely not the least, that has been keeping me sober has to deal with my last relationship and the breakup and an initial unhealthy ways of dealing with it all. But that's all the talking about it I'm willing to do at this point. Still, it's keeping me on point with being sober and right now, that's a very good thing (no matter how much fun some quarantine drinking sounds to be right now).
First, but probably also least, is my bank account. As I've mentioned before, it's not really growing while I'm staying sober. However, my debt has been going down and I do enjoy seeing that happen (though by current calculations, I'm gonna need Sober 2020 - Sober 2120 before I get rid of it all).
School has also been a big factor though. Or, to be honest, a fear of drinking myself retarded (more so than I often already feel I am). I used to be one of those annoying people that could read a text once and remember nearly all of, or at least enough of it to get an A or a B on any test covering it. These days I often have to reread something two or three times before I retain enough information to pass any test or am able to write a decent paper on it. I know some of that has to do with age, but I also have no doubt that heavy drinking killed quite a few more brain cells than I'm comfortable with thinking about. And while I know I'll never be able to get to the point I was once out with memory and knowledge retention, I like to think that with sobriety now (and moderation later), I can get closer to that point than the one I feel I'm at now.
The next big factor is how much I'm still enjoying not being hungover. I probably still sleep more than is needed (because sober sleep feels SOOOO good), but when I'm finally out of bed I am able to get to my day without fear of being sick or wishing the sun had a dimming switch. And while every year I'm excited for summer and the idea of getting in a good bit of hiking, being sober I feel like there's a decent chance that might actually happen for me this year.
The final thing, and definitely not the least, that has been keeping me sober has to deal with my last relationship and the breakup and an initial unhealthy ways of dealing with it all. But that's all the talking about it I'm willing to do at this point. Still, it's keeping me on point with being sober and right now, that's a very good thing (no matter how much fun some quarantine drinking sounds to be right now).
posted by Paul | 4:13 AM
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