I Wish I Aged Like Paul Rudd

I don't know what that dude's secret is, but I really hope it's not a healthy diet, regular exercise, and eight hours of sleep each night.
And that's all I can really think to say about turning 40. I thought there would be a lot more to say, like I'd have gained some worldly wisdom by now I could pass on to whomever should choose to listen, but not so much. I do know up until I turned 40, I always thought of 40 as being old, but I can't really say I actually feel old. Sure, my body likes to argue with me more, losing weight has gotten much harder, and sleep has become much more important, but no part of me feels like I'm nearing any sort of end or that it's all downhill from here. I have noticed my memory isn't as good as it used to be, but I'm pretty sure most of that is due to excessive drinking and not because I'm getting older. And I know there's definitely a few people out there that prefer my memory not be that good - it used to be amazing and I used to remember damn near everything.
Anyways, at age 40, I'm still trying to figure out what I'm going to be when I grow up. I'm pretty sure at this point it's safe to assume I won't be playing in the NFL, but turns out they're a crap organization anyways and I'll be better off that way. It's probably OK to also cross rockstar off the list. Not that it's too late for me to learn to play guitar, but as I said earlier, sleep has become much more important to me. And if you're not sniffing cocaine off a hooker's ass at 2 a.m. every night, then you're not doing a proper job as a rockstar. Lastly, I think I can be sure I won't be a medical doctor of any sort. I think I've still got enough brain power left that I could make it as a general practitioner (i.e. family practice doctor), but I do not want to spend the rest of my years on earth paying off the student loan debt it would take to get that degree.
So there's three career paths I can not worry about pursuing. That just leaves about a million (plus/minus 998,487) more to consider. Maybe by age fifty I'll have decided what I want to be.
I know a lot of people look at turning 40 as a big deal, I was even really trying to myself for a bit. But whether it was due to me doing Sober 2020 or this whole COVID-19 thing going on, this year's birthday was pretty much just another day for me. And I'm OK with that. Maybe I'm being a bit too optimistic, but I think 40 is going to be less of a milestone for me and more of a stepping stone.

Picked Quite The Year To Take A Break From Drinking

I'm now six months (and some change) sober - halfway towards the goal. If you're reading this and thinking something like, "Holy shit, I thought for sure he'd have caved by now," don't worry, so did I. As soon as I passed my PT test back in March, I was pretty sure I'd be drinking by the end of the month. I just kept telling myself to wait one more day before doing so and before I knew it, April had come around. Then I figured I could at least make it to Memorial Day, but after that I didn't see myself refraining any longer. The idea of not having any beer during summer just seemed too damn foreign to me. Yet somehow, Memorial Day came and went and I didn't take the time to stop taking a break from drinking.
So now I'm on the back half of this "journey" and it feels kinda surreal. For one, I don't really feel it's actually been that long. It feels like it's really only been a couple months without drinking. In a way, that's kinda cool - I thought this would be a pretty boring and dull time for me, but instead I've been enjoying life more than ever. On the other hand, there's this feeling of dread that at some point time will come to a standstill and I'll wonder if I'll ever get the chance to enjoy the sweet taste of beer again.
The other crazy thing about being sober is this is the perfect year for sitting at home alone drinking copious amounts of alcohol. Instead of being viewed as an alcoholic, my lifestyle could be seen as someone that's socially conscious and supporting local business. Plus, the Air Force has pushed back all PT tests for six months, meaning I don't test again until next year. That's like a free pass to be a drunkard for six months! (Obviously, it's better I'm not doing that as failing PT tests was one of the big factors leading me to doing Sober 2020).
Anyways, for the next six months, I'm trying not to focus on this being the last half and that I'm "almost there." While there are some delicious beers awaiting me when 2020 is over (assuming the world doesn't end before that), I'm hoping to keep enjoying things as I have been. I'm still not as active as I thought I would be without drinking, but I've definitely been out and about more this summer than the last two and that's been awesome. But beyond that, I've been enjoying life more just in general (except when I read the news, but at that point I'm only causing my own misery) and that's made this whole thing worthwhile already.