Sailing Into Uncharted Waters

I'd guess on any given work night over the past couple years, I drank about 40oz of beer and 12oz of liquor (usually Kirkland Canadian whisky); double to triple that on non-work nights. It was rarely ever my intention to drink that much at the start of those nights, that's just where it always seemed to end. Most the the time, I'd get home from work telling myself I was going to stay sober that night cause I didn't want to feel like shit again in the morning. But it didn't take long before I'd convince myself just a couple beers would be OK and would probably help me get to sleep.
Of course those beers would be the 22oz sizes and something from a local brewery so I could tell myself I was really just drinking for my love of beer and to support local business and not because I was turning into an alcoholic. But by the end of the second beer I'd feel the slightest little buzz and figure I may as well move on to the liquor since I was drinking already anyways. And what was the harm anyways? Even if I woke up feeling like shit, I survived it today, I'll survive it tomorrow. And tomorrow night I'd be sure to stay sober.
This isn't to say I was getting drunk every night. Probably closer to 13 out of 14. Occasionally I'd be so worn out from the lack of quality sleep (or sleep in general) that I'd get home from work and pass right out and not wake up til close to time to go to work the next day. Or I'd have some evening commitment that would prevent me from drinking, but I tried to keep those to a minimum.
And for those that are wondering how I could afford to drink like that, there were two things that helped: 1) Costco - plenty of great liquor for relatively cheap. 2) Credit cards. When I wanted to get fancy and get the name brand stuff, it often involved using the plastic. Of course I knew in the back of my mind that using money I didn't have to buy alcohol was a sign I had a problem, but I usually found a way to justify it to myself.
Anyways, I'm not sure why I'm saying just how much I was actually drinking; regardless of the quantity, if you think you have a problem then you probably have a problem. And I'm sure there's people that can look at how much I drank and say those are rookie numbers while they continue to lead perfectly functional lives - good for them, I just know it was doing me absolutely no good. But I figure I may as well be honest on how much it was. Maybe it'll satisfy someone else's curiosity or maybe it's just good for me to get it out there.
Now I'm over two months sober, which is the longest I've been sober since getting out of the Air Force. (Granted, I never got shit-faced while deployed for four months, but I didn't abstain from drinking what I could either, which is usually what I do when I deploy). And it honestly still feels pretty great. That's not to say I don't miss beer on occasion (can't say I really miss getting drunk though), but I'm not craving it or depressed because I'm not able to enjoy the new releases I keep seeing from local breweries. It's just kinda weird to think that every new day right now is its own little milestone for me (and definitely for my liver).