First Month Down
TL;DR: So far Sober 2020 is off to a good start.
I would love to say it's been quite a struggle so far as I'm sure that would make for a much more interesting read, but honestly it's been pretty easy. There were like two days I actually felt I could really go for a drink, but otherwise it's been smooth sailing (and even those two days the temptation wasn't that much). Of course, I expected the beginning to be easy - the beginning of such endeavors, when one is full of fire for their goals, tend to be. The struggle might become much more real by the end of March. But for right now, things have been great.
I sleep soooooo much better (not counting the first few alcohol-free nights, which I expected). Could still go for getting more sleep (who couldn't?), but the quality of sleep I'm getting is vastly improved. I also find myself being much more physically active - I've been making it back to jiu-jitsu on a regular basis, getting on the treadmill most days I don't get to jiu-jitsu, and getting Hamlet out for walks on those rare days this winter the temperature isn't below zero degrees. If I keep going at the rate I have been, I might ever do some real hiking this coming summer! I've also noticed a much better ability to focus on what's going on around me instead of just wishing some headache away. And probably most significant, I've gained a certain hope/positive outlook for my future.
Over the past couple years, I'd pretty much given up on the idea of my life being any more than what it currently was. I'd spend most my days wondering why I even got out of bed and daydreaming I was anywhere but in this life. And the idea that things might one day change for the better (I was always sure they would continue to change for the worse) seemed completely unrealistic to me. Now I don't want to sound like I thought it was all doom and gloom, there were still things that made me happy and gave me tiny bits of hope on occasion, but by and large, I was sure I was destined to be no more than a miserable old man that lived only to do mediocre work and drink alone in a creaky one-bedroom apartment.
Not so much these days.
Now as far as humanity goes, I still think we're all fucked, or at least we will be in a few generations. But as for my own life, I think things are looking up. Instead of being resigned to just be where I am, I've come up with a plan for actually improving my position in life and I think it's actually doable. Granted, I know that no plan goes perfectly and I'm sure there will be obstacles along the way. But I'm not spending my days on the couch doing nothing because of a "what's the point if it won't go right anyways?" type attitude and I think that's a huge improvement in and of itself. (I'll talk about the plan in another post).
Anyways, I really just wanted to get this post out for those wondering how my Sober 2020 is going. And if the writing seems a bit disjointed, that's Hamlet's fault; he's been bugging me to play with him this whole time.
I would love to say it's been quite a struggle so far as I'm sure that would make for a much more interesting read, but honestly it's been pretty easy. There were like two days I actually felt I could really go for a drink, but otherwise it's been smooth sailing (and even those two days the temptation wasn't that much). Of course, I expected the beginning to be easy - the beginning of such endeavors, when one is full of fire for their goals, tend to be. The struggle might become much more real by the end of March. But for right now, things have been great.
I sleep soooooo much better (not counting the first few alcohol-free nights, which I expected). Could still go for getting more sleep (who couldn't?), but the quality of sleep I'm getting is vastly improved. I also find myself being much more physically active - I've been making it back to jiu-jitsu on a regular basis, getting on the treadmill most days I don't get to jiu-jitsu, and getting Hamlet out for walks on those rare days this winter the temperature isn't below zero degrees. If I keep going at the rate I have been, I might ever do some real hiking this coming summer! I've also noticed a much better ability to focus on what's going on around me instead of just wishing some headache away. And probably most significant, I've gained a certain hope/positive outlook for my future.
Over the past couple years, I'd pretty much given up on the idea of my life being any more than what it currently was. I'd spend most my days wondering why I even got out of bed and daydreaming I was anywhere but in this life. And the idea that things might one day change for the better (I was always sure they would continue to change for the worse) seemed completely unrealistic to me. Now I don't want to sound like I thought it was all doom and gloom, there were still things that made me happy and gave me tiny bits of hope on occasion, but by and large, I was sure I was destined to be no more than a miserable old man that lived only to do mediocre work and drink alone in a creaky one-bedroom apartment.
Not so much these days.
Now as far as humanity goes, I still think we're all fucked, or at least we will be in a few generations. But as for my own life, I think things are looking up. Instead of being resigned to just be where I am, I've come up with a plan for actually improving my position in life and I think it's actually doable. Granted, I know that no plan goes perfectly and I'm sure there will be obstacles along the way. But I'm not spending my days on the couch doing nothing because of a "what's the point if it won't go right anyways?" type attitude and I think that's a huge improvement in and of itself. (I'll talk about the plan in another post).
Anyways, I really just wanted to get this post out for those wondering how my Sober 2020 is going. And if the writing seems a bit disjointed, that's Hamlet's fault; he's been bugging me to play with him this whole time.
posted by Paul | 7:56 PM
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