I Got Fired

 That's about as sensationalist of a title as I can make.

What I really mean is that a couple weeks ago, my therapist told me she thinks our sessions are no longer doing me any good and I should find a new therapist. And in all reality, she was right. While she'd certainly helped me out a good bit over the past couple years, over the past few months I'd been leaving my sessions feeling like they were a bit of a waste of my time (and money).  It also started to feel like she wasn't really listening to what I was saying (and maybe from her perspective, I wasn't listening to the advice she was trying to give me).

Regardless, the kick in the pants for me is that she said she'd talk with some colleagues and refer me to someone else that might be more specialized to my current situation. This was over two weeks ago now and I haven't heard shit from any other office in town. I have good insurance, the kind that gets most medical places in town to seem like they can't get me in their door soon enough. So I would've thought by now some office would've reached out, but nope.

I know I don't need to wait for someone to call me - that I can start calling around town. I just preferred the idea of going to an office where they already had notes and I wouldn't have to re-talk about old crap. C'est la vie.

Honestly, I'm not even sure therapy would be worth my time at this point. Not that I think I'm "fixed" or anything like that, but the search for a good therapist is daunting. Like that's time that could be better spent doing other things, most notably sleeping in. And while a good therapist can certainly help someone to sort through some personal shit and come out a better person, there is a plethora of bad therapists out there. Like way more bad ones than good. Of course that may be anecdotal bias showing, but it's amazing how many people I know that have bad similar experiences with bad therapists.

Anyways, I'm rambling cause why the fuck not? I thought today was gonna be a much more different day than it turn out to be. I don't even know why. Foolish hopefulness I guess, which I'm no stranger to. And lots and lots of confusion lately about my future and life and all that. I'm glad I'm sober for it though. Drunk me would've likely broken some furniture and sent some very uncomfortable texts.  

 

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